I’m a very weird person. I have a TBR cart and books that I’m wanting to read sometime soon, but I also have a list of books that I’m way to terrified to put on my cart and way too terrified to read but also reaaaallly want to get to. Here’s that list. (You’ll notice that most of these books are super CHONKY).
10. Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett
This one hasn’t actually been on my TBR for a super long time, I believe I got it about 3 months ago as a spontaneous purchase, but I’ve been wanting to read it for longer than that. Raegan from PeruseProject on BookTube adores this book and every time she talks about it I’m like “yes I totally need to read that!!” and then I never do. I don’t know why. It’s standalone and not very long, so I should be able to get through it within a couple of days. But I think I’ve placed this high expectation on it that I’m worried it won’t meet.
9. The Archived and The Unbound by V E Schwab
I’ve not had much luck with Victoria’s books lately, from DNF’ing This Savage Song due to genuinely not liking it to DNF’ing Vicious due to not being in the right mood at the right time, and now I’m a little bit terrified to continue on my quest to read everything she’s ever written. I adore her as a person and she was SO sweet to me when I was feeling incredibly anxious at her meet and greet and walked me around and introduced me to a few people so I’d know some others I could hang out with, so I really want to support her in everything she does. And that includes raving about her books, but before I can do that, I actually need to.. y’know… finish them?
8. The Priory of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
This one hasn’t been out very long at all so it’s technically not a backlist, but I’m preemptively putting this one on the list because I will get 3 years down the line and realise it’s turned into a backlist if I don’t try to convince myself to read it now. I didn’t enjoy Samantha Shannon’s The Bone Season, but Priory sounds right up my street and I really adore reading books by UKYA authors that I might actually get a chance to meet. So I need to do that. Before I move to Australia and will never get a chance again, preferably.
7. Aurora Rising by Amy Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I’ve DNF’ed Nevernight a million times and I’m still not willing to let it go and give up. I just really want to like that book, ok?! But as a result of not really agreeing with Jay Kristoff’s writing style (when he’s writing books by himself), I’m very intimidated that I won’t like this one and it might even ruin the Illuminae files for me, which are completely separate but if I’m disappointed in this author duo it will just break my heart.
6. City of Brass and Kingdom of Copper by S. A. Chartkospy
I’ve actually DNF’ed City of Brass once already. But I’m generous, I give a book a few tries before actually letting it go (as proved by my many attempts with Nevernight) and this one is one I’m really desperate to give another chance to. I own the super gorgeous Goldsboro editions for both of these and I hate to think I wasted my money if I don’t actually end up liking the books. I really want to make them a priority to read as I know quite a few people with the City of Brass Goldsboro on their DISO WL and I’d hate to keep it if I’m not actually going to adore and give it the worship it deserves. But I won’t dehaul it until I’ve given it another go. IT’S A SPIRAL.
5. The Burning White by Brent Weeks
This is the final book in an epic series that I’m just not ready to finish. Not only is this book HUGE but I’m just not ready for the huge amount of emotional baggage I’ll receive from reading this book. This series has to be my favourite high fantasy series EVER, and I love the magic system, the sassy characters and the beautifully rich world building. I’m terrified that this one won’t be a good ending for my babies, and I’m terrified that I don’t want an ending at all.
4. A Winter’s Promise by Christelle Dabos
This one has been getting all of the hype lately but I’ve been holding off until the sequel has released. It’s here now (although I haven’t got it yet), and I really should just get over my funk and pick this one up. I’ve been putting it off too long and that has built up a weird, unusual fear of it despite it not even being an intimidatingly sized book. Sure, I’m scared I won’t like it and I’ll be the defective puzzle piece in a well adored jigsaw – but when has a fear of not enjoying a book ever stopped me? In fact, some of my favourite reads of 2019 were books that I was 98% sure I’d dislike but read anyway. I’m weird like that. This book sounds right up my alley and I need to stop hiding from it and just… pick it up!
3. The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch (and the other 2 books in the trilogy)
I really wanted to put this one on the list because of 1) how intimidated I am by it and also 2) I’m doing a readalong for this one that launches on February 1st on the Byzans app. If you’ve had this one on your TBR for as long as I have I can only offer up this invitation and hope you join me and quite a few others!
2. Nevernight by Jay Kristoff
Ok, I admit. This one has been on every list similar to this that I’ve written for years. I’m scared of it, ok?! I’ve built up this overwhelming hatred driven by fear that means I never get past page 20, and I’ve done 6 attempts of trying to get through this one. I don’t think it’s bad writing, but it just doesn’t click with me. But I’m still determined to finish it. Very determined. Times 6. Or seven if I give it another attempt. I’ve tried buddy reading, audiobooking, speed reading and skimming but nothing has worked. This book to me is like oil and water or milk and my stomach. (I’m lactose intolerant).
1. The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare
I’ve had a huge debate with myself about whether or not to include this series on this list as I’m kind of cheating and also kind of being completely honest. Nowhere did I say that everything on this list had to be unread by me and therefore I’m putting this one my list. Sue me. I’ve read the Mortal Instruments books before, I’ve read the Infernal Devices. I’ve gone no further. But I really, desperately want to. However I have this weird block that doesn’t let me read sequels, spin offs or continuations without going back and reading every single book before. Even if I read a really intense, in depth summary of the plot line up til Lady Midnight, and even acknowledging that they are completely different series and can be read without ever reading anything from the Shadowhunter world, if you so wish, that just doesn’t work for me. I can’t let myself pick up The Dark Artifaces without reading everything that chronologically comes before it. IT’S A CURSE GUYS. But I’m too scared to commit myself to that many books. I know I’ll get 2 books in and be bored already, because that’s how I am with long series. I’m honestly not entirely sure how I made it through the full series in the first place, but I guess it was 4-5 years ago now. If not more. And I was different back then. I had a better attention span. Scratch that, I actually had an attention span.
So there we have it! All the books I’m too scared to read (or at least intimidated by). If you wrote this post, what would be on your list? Do we share any?